Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Found your dick twin last night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
