You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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