I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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