So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
