i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
