last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
