The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
is that a dick in a sweater?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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