I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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