You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
