and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
