i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
