He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
