I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
