oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
