I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
