i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
