I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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