all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
