Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
