Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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