I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
