You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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