I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
