Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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