You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
