I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The adults are the big ones right?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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