is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize