That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
