Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
