My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
