Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
