we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
