I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
