i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
