Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
