the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
