i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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