Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
