and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
