i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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