You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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