I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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