i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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