all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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