why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
