Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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