YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
