You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think i have two assholes
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
