Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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