you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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