dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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