Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize