She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't put those talents on a resume
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize