She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
