K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize