It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
