so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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