im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
