don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
my liver is dry heaving
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
