She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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