I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
