bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
