She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I came so hard my ears popped.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
