Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
