yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize