What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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