She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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