the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize