Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
