Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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