so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
