i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize