New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
