She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
