Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize